i’m currently drawing The Avengers because my brother bet me I couldn’t. I’m twenty years old, you should not be able to get me to do things by betting me.
Can we acknowledge that Loki got stabbed through the chest in The Dark World just like Coulson. Like there should be an Agents of SHIELD episode where Coulson’s team capture Loki and they show each other their scars and talk about being dead.
Nick Fury is a foster parents and a principal so it’s safe to say he knows kids. And he knows as soon as he opens her file that she’s not going to an easy one. From the recently deceased parents to the one word responses to the cold shoulder she gives his other foster kids to the incident in Bahrain that she refuses to talk about, Melinda May is going to be trouble.
She’s known around the school a week before Fury even meets her thanks to Stark (what Romanoff and Barton see in him is beyond Fury). And just like Barton and Romanoff and anyone Fury ever takes in, everyone wants to know just how screwed up this one is. She gets the nickname The Cavalry five minutes after walking out of his office on her first goddamn day after taking out John Garrett and his merry bunch of nutcases single handed with skills (ninja skills according to the girls gossiping outside his office) Fury didn’t even know she had because they were bullying Hank Pym. Two of them went to the nurse.
It takes two calls from teachers, a skipped class, and Thor Odinson receiving a sprained wrist (you don’t just grab someone’s shoulder without them knowing your there and not expect them to react) before lunch that results in Fury doing the sensible thing and pulling Phil Coulson out of Spanish.
Phillip Coulson, everything a principal could want in a student because he is literally without a doubt the most helpful person in the school. Seriously he more useful to Fury as a junior than the guidance councilors. Coulson helped Ward with his transition from abusive parents to cat-obsessed aunt. He alone got Romanoff to stop kicking the ass of anyone within a ten foot radius. He helped Barton through the hearing loss and the hearing aids and other stuff (they’re close, Nick doesn’t question it because Barton seems happy). He’s the only person Stark would listen to (other than Pepper Potts) and the only one who can get Thor to use his inside voice. He’s helping Banner with his anger issues. He made sure Fitzsimmons knew their way around the school after the move up from the middle schools. He got Skye to stop hacking into the school computers and changing the lunch to fish sticks. And yeah, Barton still climbs through the air vents but he’s doing it less because of Coulson.
All and all, if anyone can help May, it’s Coulson. And that’s exactly what he tells the boy after he gets done shouting at guidance councilor Maria Hill because how the hell is he suppose to know where the girl went if she’s not in sixth period Art.
Coulson later finds her on his way back to Spanish in the administrations office, helping secretary Hand file papers. Coulson offers to help (because Spanish is almost over and he has a free period next) and tries to talk to May.
The next thing Phil knows is that the school day is over and he has missed the rest of his classes because he’s been filing with Melinda May who has not said a word to him despite his rambling about everything from the football captain Steve Rogers to her maybe eating lunch with him tomorrow. And as he wipes the dust off on his jeans he tells her that he’d like to get to know her better and she tells him that she use to fly planes. And he considers that progress.
No but can you imagine when Bucky finds out that Tony and Steve are dating because I can only see it going one of two ways.
One, Tony is freaking out because Bucky wants to talk to him and Steve is repeatedly telling Tony it’s okay and that Bucky is less murder-y now. And in the end Tony sits through the most terrifying fifteen minutes of his life while Mr. Metal Arm threatens to beat him to death with his own arms if he hurts Steve.
Or two, where Bucky wants to talk to Tony and Steve freaks out and Tony’s all like what’s the worse that can happen (Steve is repeatedly muttering ‘murder, Tony, he could murder you’). And after days of Steve stressing out about it, Bucky and Tony end up spending hours discussing the best kind of oils to loosen up the joints in metal body parts.